Pixelated Privates: The Censorship Towel

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Girl: OH — I didn’t see you there! This is my surprised yet smexy look.
Guy: …Did I remember to scrub between my buttcheeks for dingleberries?

This is the Censorship Towel from Carmichael Collective (consider it my Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Towel Day post). It makes your privates look pixelated, but only if you’re the right shade of peach. Personally, I think it should like four black squares in the middle because BUSHES ARE COMING BACK, BABY. Kidding, I have no clue what’s in fashion down there. Braids? Hats? I don’t need a Censorship Towel because I’m so hairy it already looks like I have a black censor ~~bar~~ triangle over my junk. “You should dye it orange and turn it into a yield sign.” Now THAT — that might be the most brilliant thing you’ve ever said to me.

Thanks to Sandy, who don’t believe in censorship. Trust me — if you saw half the naked dudes in the locker room that I have you would.

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