5 Worst Ways To Save Money
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Author: William Miller
Author: William Miller
In a down economy everyone is trying to figure out how to save money. Here at ThatsBadAss.com we want you to be able to afford the funner things in life.
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So here is our top 5 worst ways for cutting costs:
- Sell your pants and go pants free. You might get fired and your neighbors might try to jump your bones. There’s a good chance you’ll also get arrested for indecent exposure. The money you’ll make from selling your pants, and the money you’ll save on not replacing them, or washing pants, will quickly be eaten up by lost income and legal fees.
- Sell your children on eBay. As far as I know, it’s quite illegal to sell humans on eBay. So you can’t cut your grocery bills by reducing the number of mouths to feed. And before you ask, Craigslist is off limits as well. Sorry.
- Steal gas for your vehicle. Gas is creeping up in price again, and it’s not as cheap to fill up as it used to be. Don’t tell me that you haven’t been tempted to fill up and then floor it – racing away. Unfortunately, the attendant is sure to write down your tag number and call the cops. Once again, fines and legal fees will negate any savings here.
- Eat other people’s food at restaurants. By this, I don’t mean share food with your spouse / meal companion. Rather, I mean walk through a restaurant, casually snagging a breadstick from one table, a bite of steak from another, and a shrimp from another. Ignoring potential legal troubles, and being thrown out of your favorite restaurants, this strategy is likely to leave you with a bloody nose, and the hand of an angry patron.
- Stop showering. No more daily showers – think of the money you’ll save on water, and heating all that water! This one has to be a winner, right? Well, no. Your kids will avoid you, your wife will leave you, and your boss isn’t likely to keep you around for long. Unless you work at a fish market for a living. In that case, skip the showers all you want!
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Let me add a sixth–stealing flowers from graves to put on your own. My sister caught a man stealing the flowers from my mother’s grave and there was nearly a slaughter.