25-year old David Villalobos was recently mauled by a Siberian tiger at the Bronx Zoo after jumping out his monorail train and into the tiger pen below because he wanted “to be one with the animal.” Now I asked my buddy Terry (who is usually full of wisdom and Sierra Nevadas) what the hell ‘being one with an animal’ means and he acted like I was stupid for asking. He clarified though, that, at least in this case, it does NOT mean have sex with, so that’s a relief.

David Villalobos is being treated in hospital for bites on his arms, legs, shoulders and back, as well as a broken arm, leg and pelvis and a collapsed lung after leaping from a monorail train into the den of a 180kg tiger last week.

The 25-year-old, whose condition was described as stable, has been charged after a complaint from the zoo and admitting to police that he deliberately jumped into the enclosure – without fear – because he wanted to “be one with the tiger”.

Despite his serious injuries, he claimed he was able to get his wish and pet the tiger – a male Siberian named Bashuta – before his rescue.

Zoo staff has informed the media that the tiger did nothing wrong and will not be put down. Thank goodness. Although I do think the tiger should be reprimanded for not actually eating the guy. I mean, what better way to really become one with something than becoming its nourishment? “You actually make a decent point, GW.” Then it’ll shit your bones out!

Thanks to Liam, who’s never wanted to dive into any exhibits at the zoo except the penguin one because he’s not a raving lunatic.

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